I hate your face
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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