that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
