And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
