i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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