Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.�
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Randomize
