I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
