you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize
