Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
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