I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
