Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
We have started to decorate penises.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Randomize
