I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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