Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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