erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
