she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
