I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
