I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
