and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
