awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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