hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Randomize
