I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
