so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Randomize
