is your mom at the bar?
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
