...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
he quoted the bible to break up with me
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Randomize
