her vagine was all disorganized.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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