So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Four minutes until I can fart!
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
