She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
