I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
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