That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
