please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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