....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize
