I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Randomize
