I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
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