And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Randomize
