the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
