Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Randomize
