so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize