White coat. Heels.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
How external is "for external use only"?
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
