Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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