You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
