yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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