Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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