Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Randomize
