we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
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