i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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