So drunk, too bad you don't want this
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
