Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Everclear isn't food dammit
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
