My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
