First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I am available for nakedness
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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