Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
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