Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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